I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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