Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
