I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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