I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize