ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just high enough for therapy.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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