last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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