too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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