one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
