i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
