I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you traded sex for a burrito?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
