I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
