i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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