mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
