Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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