So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We have started to decorate penises.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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