Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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