Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
