i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
