Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
