I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
