i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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