fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Randomize
