1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
