so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
