I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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