just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
