Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Your tits are I can't wait for
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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