I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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