I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
