I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
