Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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