best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
