The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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