you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
