ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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