Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
