I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
