Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize