U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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