Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
