The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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