so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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