Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
