YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
