you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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