they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
