My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my shit smells like andre
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
