im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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