i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
