Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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