ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
