I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
