ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
