Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
