So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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