PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
