can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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