At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
where am i from again
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
