Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
